Talking points...

Have you ever found out that the person you're dating isn't who you thought they were? Yeah, sad. Thank you spy camera salesman, thank you.

"Blowing the vuvuzela" is still not as good a euphemism as "Hey honey, do you want some sausage and eggs?" Sorry world cup fans...

I'm feel unsafe on this elevator with these pretty ladies. I hope they don't try anything, I'm vulnerable. I said vulnerable! Come back!

When you order certain adult products by mail, they're packaged so your neighbors don't know, but the mailman does and he WILL laugh at you.

People still cover the former AK Gov? Really? It'd be cheaper to put a camera next to the crazy guy on the subway, they say the same stuff.

Two great tastes that taste great together. #ifbreastswerebreakfastcereal

I'm starting to think that cable news is like a dog whistle for those who haven't evolved or activated their mammalian brain yet.

...she was like the finest of wines. Cold, covered in dust and spiderwebs and hiding in a rich guy's basement....

Hazing is idiotic, childish and a waste of time...unless you are trying to become a political appointee. Then...let the a-holishness begin!

I saw two neighbors with lawn jockeys. I'm ticked off! This race sucks! I came back the next day for the results and it's still tied!!

New Supreme Court ruling! If you tell kids to get off of your car twice, you don't have to warn them to get off the hood before you pull off.

I wonder if chastity belts pushed oral sex into the mainstream....or maybe it's the fact that it feels great....

Using the confirmation hearing to trash Thurgood Marshall? Really? My new description of you guys will now start with "Steaming pile of..."