S. Anthony Says...

Ok annoying couple, you're TOGETHER. No one here wants either one of you so calm down. Just pee around each other and get it over with.

The pretty lady at the sandwich shop accidently touched my sandwich. It actually tasted better where she touched it. I love women too much!!

Hi police officer that's obviously running my plates while driving behind me. My laughing at you should have told you how clean I am.

They say "Don't be in the stands, get out on the field!"

I say "I'm not on the field, but soon...I'll be in the owners box. So STFU!"

I'm making a pimp slapping motion with my hand now...i'm tired...whoever is deserving of one, could you just walk into it please?

I bought oranges on the side of the road and the guy tried to up-sell me into buying a power juicer. And you say they're not Americans!

We had all better hope that Jehovah's Witnesses don't recruit hotel maids. Imagine getting awaken for a 6 am cleaning and prayer meeting!