Google & Amazon probably fight over me like jealous teenage girls.

No, I love him more!

He just buys from YOU, he surfs the web with ME!

When a driver pisses me off, I turn on my windshield wipers and pretend they're my car's "Oh no you didn't" fingers. Yup, I'm a grownup.

Hear me out.

A shot for shot remake of "Chappelle's Show"... starring Kirk Cameron.

Well, should I start a Patreon now or not?

:)

When someone asks "Did you miss me?", do not pause and then laugh before you say "Uh...yeah?"

They will throw things at you.