Monday, December 29, 2014

Google & Amazon probably fight over me like jealous teenage girls.

No, I love him more!

He just buys from YOU, he surfs the web with ME!

Friday, December 26, 2014

When a driver pisses me off, I turn on my windshield wipers and pretend they're my car's "Oh no you didn't" fingers. Yup, I'm a grownup.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Hear me out.

A shot for shot remake of "Chappelle's Show"... starring Kirk Cameron.

Well, should I start a Patreon now or not?


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

When someone asks "Did you miss me?", do not pause and then laugh before you say "Uh...yeah?"

They will throw things at you.