Mmm hmm...

Meteorologists, we all know that you're secretly happy whenever there is horrendous weather...do a better job of hiding it.

Serena Williams would have to shoot a relative that I liked and do it in front of me for me, to even consider breaking up with her....

I just got home and everybody is calling me to solve their problems. I'm changing my answering machine message to leave me the hell alone!

Meteorologists, we all know that you're secretly happy whenever there is horrendous weather...do a better job of hiding it.

Is there such a thing as clinical pissed offness? If so...

If not, and I'm the first one with it...DON'T NAME IT AFTER ME!!!!!

My friends and I put on some night goggles, waited in my back yard for the right time, then ganged up on and bit some mosquitoes. Yeah!

Women love when you take baths with them, but they won't share the toilet with you...so...only the left side is for sharing? Picky, picky.