Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Breaking Fake News! President releases college transcripts, proves brilliance, Trump breaks down, pisses self, chants N-word. Film @ 11!
Mr. Trump, stop taking it out on the President. It's NOT his fault that Omarosa wouldn't give you any p*ssy.
"Silly bigots, birth certificate tricks are for kids!" #trumpbreakfastcereal
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Upon further review, the call is inconclusive and I can keep my bribe....
Sunday blows without football. (Editor's note: This statement will no longer apply when I'm rich.)
Seeing the world as it REALLY is, initially is very frightening & disappointing....but eventually liberating. Also, boobs taste good.
I've seen the edited out parts of EVERY beer commercial. That's when the hotties walk past the drunk losers and bang the bar OWNER. Yup.
Hallmark Hall of Fame movies are like rogue missionaries from the Lifetime Network that attack other channels looking to take new territory.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
You know that person that screws up your plans by just showing up? Yeah...THAT. Right NOW! Why ME!?!
Dancing with the Stars....get someone ON THE WAY UP! It'll add to your credibil....nevermind.
112th congress...making the black guy in the White house less scary to bigots since November. - Tee shirt idea
Hey, guys who invented "Jackass", thanks for encouraging the people who produce the show "Wipeout"
Intelligent people of America that use sarcasm regularly.
I want to run for congress...no, I can't. As much as I try to pretend that I don't, I actually still give a damn. I'm unqualified.
I prefer getting into women's delicious vaginas sexually, NOT legislatively. It's MUCH MUCH better that way. Also, boobs. Yes, sweet boobs. Oh, and yummy booty. I've said too much...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Special message to guys, "REGULAR lady's" vaginas feel just as good as famous lady's vaginas. (I've had sex with BOTH) So calm the hell down. (No, I Won't say who)
Trump would be LESS of an embarrassment if he crapped his pants on live television than this crap he's pulling on us now.
Passengers in cars, silence is okay. Always remember that shutting the hell up is ALWAYS a viable option. Thanks.
So, your coffee maker has your coffee ready when you wake up? Yeah, that makes up for your crappy life. You ARE important now!
Insert "Shake Weight" joke HERE. Please include masturbation references whether it's the male or female commercial. I don't feel like it...