S. Anthony Says...

Have you ever had your pants rip, in front of a woman you were attracted to...every day for two months? Women can't take a hint.

Ladies with beautiful, delicious butts, we're going to start sending YOU the bill for all of the traffic accidents your sweet bottoms cause.

Have you ever been tailgated by someone, let them pass, get a good look at them and just know they aren't going anywhere important?

"The difference between being a college kid and an adult....for college kids, the hazing stops" (Actually said this to my nephew just now)

My message to characters Ray Barone & Doug Heffernan. Yes, your wives are mean but they're hot & you're stupid, do what they say & get laid.

If it's "Rat Poison" it should only work on rats right? *glug, glug...thud!*

The neighborhood watch guys here think they're TMZ. Chumps. A real man hides his camera in his hot neighbor's shower like I...nevermind.

Some people think hand sanitizer is "A bath in a bottle" These people are disgusting... but 99.99% free of germs.

Yoga is like crack. If you go too long without doing it, your body revolts...and thus the third eye and new tail that I seem to be growing.