Ladies, you can have any guy you want. Just walk up, ask if they're single and if so just take him. You can start with me!
"That's not what I had in mind!" - Ivan Pavlov watching the Jerry Springer show
Medical science, please come up with a pill that removes emotional baggage. I'm one more crazy girlfriend from becoming a Buddhist monk.
Is there a secret internment camp where they keep the black people that appear on Maury? Where do they come from?
A kid smoking, now a kid at a baseball game drinking a beer....my childhood gets lamer and lamer everyday by comparison.
Whenever my ex would scream at me for no reason, I would wish that she had an "SAP" button...then I couldn't understand what she was saying.
Teens next door, I'm investing in miracle ear stock now. All that yelling and screaming will pay off for me later. No, turn that music up!
I need to wrap duct tape around my head to keep IQ points from slipping out. That's how stupid the conversation next to me is.
What a shame, if hired, the guy talking to himself on the subway and peeing in a cup WOULDN'T be the most disturbed person on cable news.