Saturday, October 9, 2010

She's yelling "You're not a real Doctor, how'd you get in here!?!" And all this time I thought women liked their boobs kissed! Fickle.

2 girls, one cup... Brett Favre's junk. Two things I never will look at. The reaction videos are probably indistinguishable though.

Cellphones add geotags to pictures, so I'm going to do all of my sexting from YOUR backyard ok?

Special message to people who try to take a mile when you GRACIOUSLY give them an inch. Fuck you, now you get NOTHING!!!!

I'm in the process of purging the dysfunctional...I should hang a sign over my door that says "Functional Only" It's time.

It's funny how yelling some things takes the romance out. "I LOVE THE WAY YOU SMELL AND TASTE!" It's better whispered isn't it? Well?

♫ Do you believe in life after love?♫ Yes, but I'm more interested in life during!

I’ve been writing and telling jokes all of these years (and no sitcom)…and all that I had to do to get an hour of primetime television is set my family on fire? NOW you tell me. Thanks 46 hours mysteries! (Yeah, I know it’s 48 hours. I’m trying to not get sued SHUT UP!)

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