Alright! Google TV! Wait, what? Color and sound must be purchased à la carte? I knew that Verizon merger was bad news.

My friend reminded me of some of my older tweets. If I had a TV show back then and used the same humor, I'd have been soooo sued.

One of the funniest things to watch, is two guys who CAN'T fight, threaten each other. Hahahahahaha! Punk asses.

My friend tells me his wife complained that he slurps her nips too hard. Then she got them pierced! HOW HARD WAS HE SLURPING THEM!?! (TRUE)

What a wonderful world it'd be if it was illegal for politicians to lie...and my ex...and that guy that put on my new tires. 15mins my ass.

I'm one powerball win away from buying some elections. "King S. Anthony" sounds good...really good...*sinister laugh*