Did you know that if a person abruptly restarts a conversation after you’ve left a room thus dragging you back in…in many states it’s legal to drop kick them? NO, YOU make things up for YOUR benefit!

What year is this? I'm thinking that leaving my coffee alone at the table while I went to the bathroom was a bad idea. Are YOU melting?

Supporting your teams...good. Being an ass about it...bad. Mainly because YOUR teams suck and YOU'RE an idiot. Damn, let's try that again...

"Ide"ology. Just like the word itself...ideologies won't let you complete an "idea."

Yeah stupid 20something at the next table, women love it when you call them crazy in front of their friends in public. Enjoy your evening!

Imagine how much further along as a nation we would be if emotional intelligence was the norm, instead of an aberration.

Special message to the morons that use their cell phone cameras to take pictures under women's dresses. Aside for being immoral and disgusting, when you get home to "enjoy' the picture...that just it...it's still just a picture. It just like the pictures of naked women who willingly show their underwear...minus the arrest, being outed as an idiot and getting violated in county lockup by some dude with nothing to lose.

Regarding Voter intimidation... I wish a motherf*cker would try that with me. That is all.

When you look up and say "What's it all for?" and someone behind you says "Light bulbs are to help you see at night..." you feel stupid.

When you load up your cart with cleaning products...people look at you funny...

...maybe also purchasing a shovel and mumbling "He shoulda listened!, I told him not to push me!" didn't help.

Why do people decide to argue with the gas station attendant over a quarter when i'm in a hurry? Please cosmos, flatten all 4 of his tires.

I really wish that the lowest denominator wasn't so common.

There are certain phrases that you can say, and names that you can your woman ONLY WHEN YOU'RE DEEP INSIDE HER! Learn this early young men.

A woman's skin is beautiful, soft & imminently lick/slurp/nibble/kissable. Real men like that. Stop airbrushing the personality out of it!

What's with all of these of these really old people dying all of a sudden? Oh.

I 'm thinking of joining a tea party group because I want to see what it's like to have a bunch of racists look away from me dismissively while simultaneously pointing to me over their shoulders with their thumbs. That would be cool!

Not ALL prisons have bars...nor are they ALL imposed upon us by OTHERS. Seek freedom, it's your natural state, no matter what some jealous jackass in your real life or some dope on television says. Ya dig?

10 straight political commercials during the news, then a commercial for jackass... foreshadowing at it's best.