I wonder if 19th century racists are jealous of current ones like old NFL players are of young NFL players. "In my day we were racist for free! We didn't have cable news jobs waiting for us!

I can't wait until we have a PERFECT person in office. What? This is the REAL world?... Crap.

I want to get that bell sound effect from the Springer show. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY!!!

When one of my posts/tweets disobeys me, I send it over to Facebook for a time out.

I don't use checks and I rarely carry cash. That's what heavy sleepers on the subway are for.

People that cut you off in traffic because they just bought a new sports car should be flown to Singapore and caned on live tv.

No sport is so complicated that it needs an hour pregame show.