If YOU can get home with ANY french fries from McDonalds after ordering them at a drive thru...you are master of your domain!!

Hey, these protests and rallies have NOTHING to do with the President's color...HAHAHAHA! C'mon. It's Eyes on the Prize 2.0 right now.

If someone calls you at the top of their lungs, then says "Nevermind", you should be allowed to ignore them when the next emergency arrives.

Why do some people speak so loudly? Are they part of a scavenger hunt where someone must quickly find the biggest idiot in the room?

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Why don't guys pulling scams do a better job of assessing their marks? As soon as this dude started his fake sob story, I decided to humor myself by saying word for word what his request was going to be. I've lived in New York city, San Fransisco, Los Angeles and Philadelphia to name a few. I've seen it all. Once he realized that I was on to him, his back straightened, his speech improved and he actually said "You got me dude...sorry" Then he walked away. Yes Walked! Miraculous! I'm a healer!

The line forms to the left.

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Message to people who work with wild animals... *makes "what did you expect face"*

The road out of my life is one way.

I'm starting to think that the extremists running for office are really just the stars of the new movie "Jackass 4D"

Hi Democrats, remember me? -Your balls. (Sorry ladies, I didn't mean to leave you out of the insult...so here goes) -Your spine.

Politicians ALL have plans to solve our problems. In other news I have it all planned out what I'd do to Halle Berry in bed. Get it?