Pinch me, I'm dreaming....again please...NO, you're weird for getting into it!

Rise up sane America! Rise up and...huh? Okay, are you going to do it AFTER Jersey Shore goes off? Cool, I'll be right here...waiting...

Have you ever had someone SAY something that FOREVER changed how you felt about or looked at them? When it's in a positive way, it's awesome...but if not...

I'm surprised that Oprah didn't bring up Pat Boone's anti Obama hatred when Debbie Boone was being interviewed. Or did I miss it?

Damned economy. My stalker is doing a brown out. She only follows me and licks my clothes Monday-Thursday. My weekends suck now!

TV cooking shows = sexual double entendre sound bite manufacturing plants.

You mean those people in political commercials are NOT just concerned citizens? Damn. Well I'll talk to you later. It's time for cable news.

Pillows don't taste as good as the showered and pudding topped ass of the last woman that I slept with...said someone else...who isn't me.

Tancredo, O'Donnell, Angle, Paladino....really? Get ready to hear more from people like this when we get a Latino or Asian President too.

You know that cockroach that keeps eating even when you turn on the kitchen light? Welcome to politics 2010! Also, clean your nasty kitchen.