"I don't care" should NEVER be followed by a twenty minute list of things that you DON'T WANT! NEVER...or go to the store YOURSELF!

I feel like kicking ass and taking identities. YOU stop at just taking names, wuss!

"No! No! No!" - Don't EVER anger a three input woman. EVER.

"If you don't keep it down, I'll turn this car right around!" #thingscarjackersdontfindfunny

Special message to d-bags...we (everyone else) feel about you, the way we know that you feel about you. We don't like you. Thank you.

Gave my 20something cousin a ride to a baby shower. She was mortified that someone thought we were a couple. Like i'd dump my Aunt for her.

I have some comic friends that are MUCH more successful than I am. Duh! Someone I know said to me “You’d probably be further along if you were a little jealous of them.” I say if that’s the price of admission…no thanks. I’ll get there, but I’ll get there WITHOUT that.

Please don't answer innocuous questions too seriously. "Nice WEATHER" shouldn't proceed "I don't know WHETHER to stay with my wife" STFU!

Murders...hours per week of airtime. In-depth analysis and accuracy regarding politics....still waiting...

Apathy and extremism lead to the same result. Failure. See you in November America.

I'll post more stuff in a minute, I want to hear how the story in this song ends. Apparently this guy is rich and sleeps with lots of ladies. Go on...

Would I like to know where these politicians get their money? Of course! But what I'd really like to know is where do they get their "facts" from? I say this because they lie so openly that I don't even need to go to a separate information source to debunk them...unless you consider general knowledge & common sense separate information sources.