Who spilled this shinola all over the place!?! Huh, it's what? Oh. I guess my grandfather was right. I couldn't tell...

The Illuminati is really falling off. I hear they're down to recruiting Jerry Springer guests. No new world order this year...

Since they don't bother with fact checking, you'd figure that they'd have MORE content and LESS repeats on cable news.

There's TOO much MICRO thinking and not enough MACRO thinking in this world. Also, some people are jackasses.

Don't use motion detection cameras to make your sex tapes. Ours looked like a disembodied ass hovering over a woman with a backwards head.

Next week I'm pitching a show called "Make minor celebrities look like desperate ass wipes" Would you help me out by watching?