I just overheard people at the dollar store making fun of Walmart shoppers. Apparently they sell irony here.
Ladies, when you sleep with me MORE than 4 times a week, I have an uncontrollable urge to do laundry and listen to long ass stories. Dig?
I want to work in an office full of beautiful ladies so I can be the office slut.
DON'T bed drunk women. I let them THINK I did, so in the morning, "Hey, we might as well do it again" works. Yeah, I'm a Renaissance man.
Not returning a call is = leaving them hanging. It's also = not participating in a high five. Wait, what? ;-)
Attention extreme close talkers...I randomly thrust my knee in the air, head butt and swing elbows. You have been warned...