I want to sleep with an 18 year old again to see if I'd still like it. Not falling for that huh? Okay, got an older sister or easy friends?

NOTHING is unbiased. NOTHING. Well, that's just MY opinion. (FYI, I have NEVER been wrong about ANYTHING)

We know that "He wasn't born here" = "He's nothing but a...", you're fooling no one. It's the silent "N" word, but we still hear it. #AZ

Street parking is paying for permission to get out of your car to spend money. As a protest I'm occupying salesmen then buying NOTHING!

And now with HIS response to the State of the Union, that guy that creeps people out by the donut shop.

I hate politicians, political pundits, political news...being an informed citizen isn't all it's cracked up to be. Go jingoism-xenophobia!

It's not YOU...it's certainly not ME. It's your friends and family! You can't convince me that them ALL being crazy is a coincidence!

DO NOT pop nose zits on people that you DON'T know...that is not a pleasant way to wake up.

Where are these happy, well groomed families that are represented in these commercials? Maybe this is the "Before the big revelation shot"

Having to constantly scrape a foot of snow off of my car makes me long for hot summer days and just pigeon crap on the windshield.

Please create a reality show where Bachmann and Palin live together and passive aggressively try to out ill inform each other.

I hand painted the image of a shake weight on my condoms...I'm a little dehydrated now...but my life has NEVER been better. Thanks ladies!