Shopping...sucks. Wait...the lady in front of me has a delicious looking bottom. Shopping now sucks less...

My 7yr old cousin called to talk to me during the last 2min of the NFC Championship game...and I did. Damned paternal instincts!

Abandoned building sandwiches. (Subway's original name, the owners really wanted it to be named after a urine scented enclosure)

"He's touching me mom!"
"No I'm not! My finger is right here NEXT to his face"
-Congress

Have you ever seen that sprint commercial where the lady breaks up with the guy across the table via her cellphone? Do YOU get the feeling that this lady (if she were real) would have all of her cats on her cell family plan in 5 years? Just asking?

I'm down to 99 problems cause I just solved one...