"Some people shouldn't have kids" That's the new t-shirt slogan I'm working on. I'm targeting the lucrative parental kidnapping market.

*talking to a sweaty, tired, satisfied woman with toes still curled & legs still convulsing* Nice guys finishing last isn't ALWAYS bad huh?

There's no need to burn a bridge if you're never going to walk back across it anyway. Save the fire for your ex's car. Wait, what?

"I love my family" Okay, try saying it without spitting afterward. *says it again* Okay, try it without the finger gun to your head...

Telling me that I have pretty eyes and cute dimples doesn't make you attractive to me after seeing you f-bomb your 6yr old, but nice try 20 something at the gas station.

I'm starting to live vicariously through next year S. Anthony, or as those in the know call it...deluding myself...uh, I mean daydreaming...

Hello, I'm from S.Anthony and assoc...I'm representing "The Bullet" He would respectfully request that everyone stop biting him...

From now on, I'm helping YOUNG HOT women across the street. The 80/20 theory people...the 80/20 theory...look it up...