Photo: Ah…me in my 20’s when I actually gave a crap about the opinion of others. Those WERE the days…. http://tumblr.com/xjmfkugyv

Video: I’m dedicating this Michael Bublé song “Haven’t met you yet” to all the politicians who AREN’T full of shit... http://tumblr.com/xjmfkv876

If you drive angrily towards an obnoxious bike rider, he crashes, but you DIDN'T hit him...that's HIS fault right? I was with you today ok?

I know the guy behind the counter at the drug store wanted to laugh when I bought the sunscreen...I can't prove it...but I know... (true)

A special message to teen boys. If you call a house with a teen girl in it and SHE didn't answer, she's not there or doesn't like you! OK!?!

I going to start a "Hate people who are trying to help you" seminar. One commercial on cable news...and I'm gonna be rich beeyatch!!!!!

When these cable news people look into the camera and say "You are a racist" they're probably talking to THEIR reflection in the lens...

Was gonna use the restroom at the gas station but chose a cleaner place. A dumpster. Sorry teens having sex, pick a better spot next time.

Since we can't stop stalkers, license them, we need quality control. You have to be disease free, hot and under 30. Just a thought....

You can tell that people think that the male star of an action show is hot if there are hair shampoo commercials during the show...