Why do they keep asking me for military ID at Target? Oh.

Guy thought that I stole my notepad. I asked, "when you sell them, do they come pre-filled with standup comedy material?" Apology accepted.

NOW I understand. Google fought with China because they didn't want China to control the web...that's THEIR job! Oh, now I get it. Assholes.

Hey, teenager running from the police...you do know how this is going to end, right? There's a famous video that will give you a hint...

I hate teases. If a woman teases, the penalty should be 2 oral gratifications. If a guy teases a woman, two lawn mowings / trash removals.

Pre-season football games, the big boobed teases of the football season.

The Expendables is the Ocean's Eleven of ass whipping. (What are the odds that the movie company uses this quote in the commercials?) ;-)