I would wish that a cannibal ate the a-hole that cut me off in traffic...but he'd just come back out as sh*t, which is no change for him.

Just saw in the window my face when seeing a delicious ass. It's like a Zen Buddhist's face...minus the Michael Jackson crotch grab.

$1.39 for a can of tuna and there's NO dolphin in here? You...bastards!

I am casually UNdressed...or as the police put it "Nude black male seen running out of mall..."

I'm not stuffing socks in my pants...IT EATS socks! You heard me right! And just so you know, that was the last one..RUN!! RUN!!!

Damn it! I just thought of a part of the body that I didn't lick on my old girlfriends! Gotta make some calls. Trust me they'll answer...