I can't avoid the scary black people like the TB rally people suggest, I'd never see my family...wait...that's supposed to be bad, right?
I'm going to the doctor's office to have the magnet removed. Which one? The one that attracts obnoxious 20somethings with aggressive kids.
HS reunion. No thanks ladies, couldn't screw you then, don't want to now. And fellas, I'm not interested in "My wife sucks" stories. Thanks.
You CANNOT be cool buying ex-lax. Also, nobody believes it's NOT for YOU, ever. Next time, my uncle had better just eat some raw chicken...
Burning religious texts...really? I hope the Phoenix that rises from those ashes is universal awareness and intolerance of your idiocy.