Did you know that you hear a bell when you fill your woman all the way up? Oh, you didn't? Well, you're at least rich, right? No? Awkward...

Can we just rename reality shows "At least I'm not THOSE assholes" tv?

Beautiful lunch truck lady had her 13yr old daughter working with her, they could be twins! I know the dad...teen boys are going to die...

The blue pill tastes like crap so you spit it out and take the red pill anyway. Slick bastards! I want to go back to wanting nothing!

...they knew that the new building owner was an anti-smoking activist when they saw the smoking area was under the pee out the window area.

Guy followed too close, honked like an idiot and passed me not knowing I was trying to avoid the ditch, that he hit...hard. Hahaha Loser.

Hey carjackers, wanna be of service for once? Just carjack drunk drivers...why? Because f*ck them that's why.

Let's stop identity theft by making those caught for it HAVE TO BE the cell block prison slut.

I'm not a dirty talk guy. I'm a show up and thrust you endlessly type of guy. Sorry. Leave the money on the dresser. Wait, what?

I will invent something that feels as good as being deep inside a beautiful lady or seem awake but actually be asleep through chick flicks...