"No Turns" signs are the work of the devil. That is all.

If someone comes up with a beer called "Pow!", then "POW, right in the kisser!" transforms into a marketing campaign and not a threat.

New twitter is "Rolling out" like a bad 70's blacksloitation film staring extras from other 70's blacksploitation films.

Anyone want to go with me to the "I hate everyone that doesn't look like me" class Newt Gingrich teaches at the Learning Annex?

People that knock on your door franticly like it's an emergency when it's not...have no idea that it's about to really be one.

OK, brag about your multiple "O's" ladies but YOU don't know how good it feels to us to be deep, deep in YOU. #bootygettingtweets

I'm glad that the segway guy didn't go with the original name he had in mind..."The Cliff roller offer" Just too ironic. #sorry

I wonder if the DNC watches Rachel Maddow. If not...they should.

Remember when mobsters went into politics to clean up their images? Now THEY don't want pictures with politicians. Too crazy...

Shut your nonexistent mouth calorie disclosure section of the checkers fast food wall menu!

Shut your freaking nonexistent mouth!!

As an actor, I couldn't be in a political ad that lied to the public. Shame on those who do. You know who you are...