Never been a hater. I've been a "damn stfu-er" or a "get the hell out-er" or a "go f*ck yourself-er" ...but hate-er....nah. I'm too nice.

It's dress down day at work. Why is the boss yelling at everyone? Oh. Damn, I always forget to check for alternate definitions! #notmehahaha

Breaking News! In a nod to global warming, Qur'an burning preacher will use a paper shredder on the Tao Te Ching during Chinese New Year.

Creating art for art's sake and art's sake alone is the way to go. Anyone got a quarter?

Breaking News! Qu'ran burning preacher announces outside of a cancer clinic that he is proudly pro-oxidant. Film at 6 &11.

How long before the Republican "get out the vote" and the religious "come to church" guys realize that I've left them talking to each other?

Special message to all social networking sites. I'm all for innovation, but you don't have to change your sites between keystrokes. Thanks.

Atlas Shrugged, then Mrs. Atlas said "So, you DON'T know where this relationship is going? Well, guess what globes you WON'T be holding!?!"

The Qu'ran burning is cancelled. Man, it took a long time for that pastor's meds to kick in.

Anyone know where I can get a bunch of unburned Qu'rans and bad mustache trimming advice?

What's so dangerous about sticking myself with this needle, it's empty! Duh. Say you can have all of my stuff into the camera first? Why?

My Qu'ran is burning, someone must be talking about it. #yeahit'sacornyandeasyjokeshutup!

When my ex was mad at me she would not have sex. Apparently I was the only male that could get her angry! Thank you, i'll be here all week!

I'm not depressed...I'm bummed out. Do they have a drug for that TV commercial fake doctor? Huh? What's a brownie going to do for me?

Special message to cable news and talk radio. You can make money "pandering" to sane non-racists too! And there's many MORE of them. OK?