Alright, next year i'm getting a new girlfriend. I miss regularly ALMOST getting up in some woman's sweet bottom.

Sperm is "no milk". The more a man has in his body, the more likely he is to say no to things. But, if you help him release it...ladies?...

When inconsiderate people encroach upon your time to the point that you are disallowed doing the basics for yourself, you are allowed to be selfish…and to shoot them.

"Feeling nothing inside is fun!" Cut! How long until his meds kick in?

...no, I DIDN'T know that! *scoffs*. I'm just practicing my over the top sarcasm so I'll be ready when my nephews come to visit today.

Mrs. Hasselbeck, who hates this country, one who questions it's motives or one who blindly follows incompetent bigots because of ideology?

Why is it that you get yelled at for giving women cheap assed gifts, but if the view does it they scream and applaud!?!

Bigots, every one of YOUR hateful arguments if implemented would come back to haunt YOU. Take off those hate clouded glasses, join the sane!

Every once in a while you must shake your life really, really hard to let all of the d-bags and a-holes fall off. Ah, refreshing!

Sitting in a parking lot waiting for Rite Aide to fill my uncle's prescriptions...this so looks like a drug deal...

Yeah, I put an extra e in Rite Aid...mine is in ye olde england. Shut up!

I'm going to do the one for you and one for me, two for you and one, two for me routine with my uncle's meds...COMEDY TIME!!!!