I'd hire a grave robber before I'd hire a pick pocket...I mean, work ethic is important. Remember that.

If someone invented a coffee rehab facility, I'm admitting now, that I would have NO choice, but to burn it down. Yup.

Dummies, women can tell when you're complimenting them to get laid. You're fooling no one. I give genuine compliments and I get so much ass!

My reality show idea "People who AREN'T d-bags" got shot down. Back to the drawing board.

Jerry Springer is so fake. I've had slap fights with many pre-op transsexual Klansmen and not once was the cursing bleeped. Liars!

It really doesn't come as any surprise to me, that little good looking guys are the LEAST likely people to moon someone in prison.

I used to wonder what it would be like to live in the McCarthy era and now I do. I wonder what a threesome with Serena & Rachel Ray would...

Helloooo! The GOP is doing it right. They have government jobs, they're supposed to sit on their asses and do nothing. No, YOU don't get it!

Eddie Long is a porn star type name. I hope that he's innocent. In the meantime he will be replaced temporarily by Pastor Richard Thicke.

Politicians that play "chicken" with peoples lives...I hope you believe in hell, because there's a special place in it for you.

Who pees in the sink? C'mon man. Don't you see that trash can with "Please pee here" written on it? Heathen.

I'm no longer a hot head. I was tailgated and cut off today...and when I shot them *pats own back* flesh wounds ONLY. It feels good to grow.

Hi TV execs, stop creating shows with 5 year story arcs, that "let the show run two minutes longer" sh*t didn't work, this won't either!