Multitasking means: I don't give enough of a shit about any of this crap to do any of it well. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING IS TRUE!

If people can't text and drive then women with delicious asses shouldn't be able to wear shorts outside...that's a BIGGER distraction!

I take back my last post. Ladies, seeing your delicious asses is soooo worth the risk of crashing into a tree!

Uh, underarm deodorant chunks...you have to be more than smoking hot for that to NOT gross me out. Environment schmiroment, use the spray!

Was driving around with my sister and nephew...someone said "What a good looking couple" My sister and I apparently have the same gag reflex.

I'm 20-0 in my head to head competition with vibrators. When I'm with a girlfriend and we go to buy "Toys"...they hide in the storeroom.

There is NO such thing as a good time to eat HOT cereal. Anyone who says that there is should be avoided at all cost. They are insane.

I'm hoping invisalign will come up with a product that will even out balls, boobs and cable television news coverage in addition to teeth.