Imagine how good life would be if ALL government offices worked as fast as John Boehner does rejecting ideas that he hasn't even heard yet.

Find out the 5 things that are KILLING you NOW!!! - Every news promo

Breaking news! "HUBRIS", through it's spokesperson, disavows congress and threatens to sue ANYONE who suggests a connection between the two.

If I became President, I'd "Draw a line in the SNOW"... yeah, deal with THAT mofos!!!!

I'd still do you. (my message to women with cats)

I'm enjoying a tall refreshing glass of phuckitall.