A hot 20something said I was cute and asked me to "Take her home and give her what she needs" I turned her down. Yeah, my favorite position.

I just stole Louie Gohmert's parking spot! That doody head! I can ALSO act like a 5 year old.

I admit there are SOME pictures of Palin and Bachmann that make "it' move. "It" is an independent like I am...but I CAN override THAT vote.

Is there a hitman that you can hire to kill a fly? EXTRA money if you torture it first.

The murder rate is DOWN!?! How are we going to fill out our Friday night 9-11 time slot!?! - Dateline NBC