You are NOT the President! - Maury talking to Hosni Mubarak

Damn, Hosni Mubarak is outside asking if we have a spare room...

"Forget jobs, tell me MORE about EVERY woman's cervix and gay people! that'll feed my family!" - Voters (If you're a delusional politician)

Remember this, it's bounce a quarter on an EMPTY bed...in YOUR house. Don't ask.

"Do I look like the kind of person that...." <---If you've said or heard this phrase, you will be available again soon.

Wet nurse meet my dry mouth.

Uh oh, organized brown people... - Congress, AZ, Talk radio, Cable news...#egypt

Those weren't blanks and you're not just getting fat.

Voyeurism, shame and other words that today's society is rapidly making moot tonight at 11 on Eyewitness news!

Is there any way to cancel this long running show "Culture Wars" that I see on TV all of the time? We deserve better programming, right?

Valentines day is coming up, it's almost time to hand wash melted chocolate out of your underwear.

FUN FUn Fun fun fu.