Apparently by constantly having sex with my stalkers I'm "encouraging them". Why is the system so against the black man!?!

I don't drink or do drugs, but I would love to overdose on MILFs right now.

How long can YOU hold back vomit, when during GUY TALK an uncle starts talking about sex stuff and it dawns on you he did THIS to your AUNT?

I don't want to date Halle Berry anymore.

I am dreading any groupon.com commercial for any product that costs $911 or $9.11.

She knew that the stripper pole in her bedroom was NOT authentic when NO trace of hepatitis was found...

"I'll have what he's having" - a crack head after Hearing Eric Cantor diss Obama for suggesting that the Chamber start hiring Americans