"Just because someone is screwing you, DOESN'T mean they LIKE you!" - My grandma's bicep tattoo

DON'T put people in a job that requires them to live up to a HIGHER standard...and then NOT hold them to that standard. Aka STOP VOTING FOR LYING ASSHOLES! Ok?

The great thing about the omnipresence of the Internet, someone is ALWAYS recording when politician's craziness bubbles to the surface.

After my drive home today, I'm convinced that school children WANT to be run over.

Right now I feel an almost overwhelming love for ALL of human kind. I'm going to turn on cable news so I can put and end to that sh!t.

When I start sleeping with famous women...I'M NOT TELLING ANYBODY A DAMNED THING! Did you hear that famous women? I'll say NOTHING!

Clarence Thomas...treating lady liberty like he allegedly treaded Anita Hill. (Allegedly) I love that word. Allegedly. No I really do...

Much like NASCAR America keeps going around in circles...unfortunately it keeps making EXTREME right turns.

If you cheat on your spouse you get on DAYTIME TV (Maury), if she kills you, you move up to PRIME TIME (20/20 etc)...things are looking up!

Tragedies as entertainment, welcome to Friday night TV. (Good lord, I need to finish writing this show so I can go on the freakin' road)