The ONLY Union that congress likes is union carbide. You know I'm telling the truth.

It's impossible for ANYONE to say the word "potentate" without sounding like stepin fetchit.

DNA is AND backwards. I'm starting to think that scientists are just being smart asses. The original name for DNA was "sessabmud"

Being a “Rebel” is an organic thing. Once it becomes contrived you are merely the inverse of the “System” which is just as bad. But it was a nice try anyway three day beard, short sentence, fake brooding guy.

I just overheard some doctors laughing about how they don't really have to shave people before operations, they do it for fun. Bastards! ;-)

When an angry person shoots you the "Shut up NOW" look and you keep talking...you are officially now an a-hole. Congrats!

"When I grow up, I want to work in an unemployment office!" - Kids now

It's not funny to write "You've reached your hourly limit" on your stomach BEFORE I get mine too! - future twitter husbands