"I'm usually thinking of the dessert toppings that I'd cover your bottom with." - Me when asked what I'm thinking when watching a lady's ass.

Now that Mubarak is gone, what am I to do with these rolls of toilet paper and this flaming bag of poo? - Random guy in Egypt

Me + fighting couple in my car = that light pole looks really good right now.

Room service bill...release form, what's the difference? Just sign and let's go. No need to read it...