Some ladies are OK in pictures, but in real life you want to wear a groove into their mattress. Yeah, I'm here to pick up your daughter sir.

I'm setting one of my stalkers up with the other....and just as I thought, a pro level staring match.

I'm going to buy a body scanner and start grabbing some body parts...aw yeah! Freelance TSA at your service!!!!

I'm forming a coalition of the semi attractive. We will withhold our services to society until WE start getting laid too. Viva la "Not Bad"

I don't care about celebrity breakups. Wow, rich pretty people who will replace their spouses before their genitals dry. Tell me more!!

$5 for a candy bar? You'd better learn how to pick pockets kid. #ibelievethechildrenarethefuture

Heroes gets killed and No Ordinary Family just shows up out of nowhere. The TV witness protection program sucks.