Hey teens, cursing doesn't make you more grown up. Knowing when to shut the hell up does.

Hey, advertisers...razor blades from the dollar store cut hair too. Also, they have cheap band-aids and tourniquets.

Did you know, when a person who cheated on you says "It just happened" it's legal for you to push them down the stairs? IT IS SO!!!

I love shallow people. They are usually very upfront about it thus making it easy to identify them and eliminate them from my life.

Hey, people who do denial of service attacks, most of what you're stopping is people engaging in time wasting bullshit. By stopping this, you make people MORE productive thus helping the companies that you hate. I'll bet that never crossed your minds. Well, continue...

Apple, Microsoft etc...stop worrying about making devices SMALLER, you have THAT down pat...it's time to work on BETTER or CONSISTENT. Ok?

Nerd + Asshole + too much spare time = Denial of service attack.

I'm the only one in my family NOT in a relationship, yet we have the same amount of sex...NONE...but at least my failures don't cost money.

Is 50 years of passionate banging too much to ask for? ;-)

It's amazing what your lady thinks is gross and disgusting until you do it to her after she's securely tied up...yeah...good times...

Thank Wii and Playstation Move...I always wondered what it would be like to play a game while simultaneously smelling ass and armpits.

I often wonder what I'd do with a tv show and editorial control...I mean besides, running, getting sued and random beat downs.