The rent is too damn hig....huh? We're not doing jokes about that anymore? How about meat dress jokes? No? Aw man...

I wish someone would make cheap but good bulletproof vests, I could get home so much faster if I could cut through the bad neighborhoods.

Your house had better be clean and there had better be a hot bath waiting for your lady if she's seeing "For Colored Girls". Just saying...

If we could have sex whenever we wanted, we'd get bored with it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry, I tried to say it with a straight face.

People that pick fights on twitter probably also scream at their TV...when it's off...and still lose the argument.

The moment you realize someone truly doesn't respect/love/appreciate you...LEAVE, and DON'T look back. Trust me on this one.

Special message to the guy screaming f-bombs into his cellphone at the next ATM. Even if the OTHER person is wrong YOU look like an a-hole.

Every Saturday that I am not mixing navel sweat with a hottie, an angel gets it's wings...buffalo wings in a urine scented corner bar.