Being a political spouse is like being married to the mob....if the mob was LESS ethical...

Major sports leagues acting as if THEY have morals amuses me.

Can we call it something other than "Streaking?", because that makes what I'm doing right now a little embarrassing.

Hello pretty lady. You look sad, would 45 minutes of thrusting make you feel better?

I like watching college football . It's great to see people play before the game is corrupted by big money. Hahahahahaha!!!. I tried.

I want to get married, because ALMOST getting laid is better than what's happening to me right now. Not by much, but better.

Hi, customer service? Good, I ordered an upgrade from silver to gold for my clouds and they're not here. What do you mean out of business!?!