I'm a very polite person, if we're hanging out and I try to change the subject take a hint...the guy you're dissing is behind you, ass face.

The Donner party had the right idea. #thanksgivingwithfamily

*Salutes* Thanks to our veterans, those in my family and to ALL others

Too bad we don't have day time talk shows that reward GOOD behavior. Huh, me? Of course I wouldn't watch that crap! *Realizes hypocrisy* Oh.

Don't call my home more than one per week if I haven't been inside you. (Or you book comedy clubs...or I'm trying to get inside you...or...)

I just overheard a conversation so stupid that I wanted to go home and wash my clothes because I was too close to it.

Special message to women...EVERY guy that you came in contact with today wanted to put his penis in you. There...the secret is out.

Looking at this public bathroom makes me wish that they made dialysis machines for the general public.

"Myspace" is now "My_____". Lame. They've really crossed the---- with that idea. It won't fly with my O of friends. Ass( )s.!