If only my balls could talk....they probably say "Is there any way for you to masturbate without rhythmically punching us in the face dude?"
Being invisible doesn't help much when you can't control the urge to poke women between the butt cheeks with your boner. Am I right?
Age inappropriate is just a number. Wait, what?
We should make it mandatory for really boring people to get a big red “B” tattooed on their foreheads. The time savings from avoiding “Nice weather we’re having” alone could add 5 years to your damned life! Also, no conversation about an animal should last longer than five minutes. Do not show a person more than 5 pictures of your kids if you know them less than an hour. If your job sucks and you know it sucks, why would I want to hear about it for two hours? Just saying…
Stop the world...I want to get off. *shivering* Damn, it's cold out here! F*ck this. I want back on! Did I miss anything?
Photo: Wow! I can fit 12 beers on the new ipad! I love the new coaster app. What? I just broke my ipad? I’ll...http://tumblr.com/xjm86k6lt