Sunday, April 25, 2010's what I think....

I’m extremely efficient. Want proof? I only require Uno Equis.

No one can SAY mean things and hurt you like the one you love. I could never do that to my ex. I'm just gonna knock up her twin sisters.

♫♪Balls in your mouth, balls in your mouth, you're snoring on my couch so my balls in your mouth♫♪

My balls don't talk to each other. The left one thinks the right one is being a snob by constantly sitting higher. It's a hairy situation.

Is there a way to create something new for when you only want people to leave you alone SOMETIMES? You know, instead of a restraining order, maybe a thing like an adjustable/retroactive restraining order? I ask because, what do you do if your stalker has a nice ass?

This isn't gender specific. Ladies, what if the guy is nuts but has mastered Tantric sex or has junk the size of an "S. Anthony Thomas?" (Yeah, right.) Maybe you'd like to get some and then turn the order back on when they start boiling rabbits or setting the car on fire. As a society we really must think these things through. Crazy booty CAN be incredible...I've heard...from others...who are not me.

Push! Push! Alright, there's the head! *These drug mules have got to go back to using balloons and not Barbie dolls* #imaginarydealertweet

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