Why is it that I'm always at my happiest before 10am and after 10pm?
My exercise equipment just said something bad about my mom...so I'm going to teach it a lesson by NOT using it! So there!
“The women filing restraining orders against me are hotter than the ones filing against YOU! Ha! You’re such a loser!!!”
“I love “Maury” and “Jerry”…you get to watch people test drive the bad decisions that you’ve avoided.”
Imagine what a wonderful world it would be, if your lady would "sleep" WITH you even when she was mad AT you...it is but a dream...FOR YOU.
According to TV sitcoms, as a comedian, I should have a super attractive bitchy wife who is constantly annoyed with me. Ladies?
Alright! Yeah! Let's go! (These are the sounds made by someone pumping themselves up for a task that they know they CAN'T accomplish)