I'm Just Saying...

What is it that makes my family think I'm a taxi? Is it the bad B.O.? The bulletproof glass? The fare? The reckless diving? What is it?

20 degrees outside. Only the most dedicated flashers will be out today. If only someone would invent a "See thru junk warmer"

You may dress as you wish IN your home right? So, if I get the door nude but don't step outside...why did the delivery lady call the cops?

After a few hours with some young relatives at Chuck E. Cheese, I’m now convinced that some animals don’t eat their young just to avoid starvation.

I realize now, that It may be time for me to get a steady girlfriend. Why? I’m starting to have fantasies about that lady in the progressive commercials. I know you may be thinking “There is nothing wrong with a healthy heterosexual male having a fantasy about a lady on tv”. You’re right about that. The problem comes with what happens next in the fantasy. It involves the Geico lizard and her nipples….