I'm Just Saying...

I want to end this toxic relationship. Every time we get together I get hurt. Exercise equipment...It's over ! Get the hell out!!!!

My stalker is beginning to take me for granted. She mailed me a picture of herself looking through my window because she wanted to sleep in.

Now I know why doughnuts have holes in them, because I love them so much I want to....Nevermind. You get the point. And so would it.......

Hey security guard at Walmart, the sign says "Self service line"....and you have Maxim magazine right here? C'mon...honest mistake!!!

What do you think Mark Mcgwire has more of left, his syringes or his junk?

Breaking News!! This morning, Pictures of missing kids were placed on hot women's butts. By 12 pm the same day every missing kid in the world had been found.

American Idol...continuing the Fox tradition of hiring the under qualified and delusional.

Rudy Giuliani is brilliant. He's got the perfect out if he forgets his wifes' birthday. "Hey don't take it personal, I forgot 9/11 too!"