I'm Just Saying...

A friend of mine wanted to completely shave his "beard"...but she said "no" because she liked her hair the way she had it.

Can you really call a guy a "Get away driver" if you get caught?

My ex used to complain that I always left the toilet seat up...so I began peeing directly on her butt...good thing she was into it.

Watching some old cowboy movies as I wait for Football. Brokeback mountain isn't the FIRST gay one people. Singing Cowboys...c'mon.

I want stalking to be an Olympic sport. It's the only way I'll ever get a gold metal...uh...did I just admit something? Disregard please.

The next person that sings "Pants on the ground" to me is going to inspire me to create a new song, "Elbow to the throat".

Don't you wish that you heard the popcorn popping sound as you got a boner? Just me? You are no fun!

Her: "Let's see if I remember, Lefty loosey, righty tighty...right?" Me: "That's right!... Now that U know my balls, it's nipple time!"

Ever been cheated on, seen who they cheated with, and find yourself more insulted by their choice than the cheating?

I'm thinking that along with "People of Walmart" there should be a site called "2am hookups"...nevermind, it's probably all the same people.