I'm Just Saying...

My ex girlfriend has claimed responsibility for the terrorist attack on my self esteem. New security measures have been implemented.

Is it delivery or is it DiGiorno? *Gunshot* Anyone else wanna inject lame ad copy into our conversation? I didn't think so.

When is the next episode of the fondle yourself and imagine being deep, deep, deep inside Hayden Panettiere show?...Oh, I mean Heroes.

Have you ever been so hot for someone that you avoid them because you'd do ANYTHING for them? That's why that girl wouldn't give me her number. It is so!!!

Losing a grandparent is really hard. Especially when the mall security camera catches your damned licence plate!!!!

Aren't pharmacists supposed to help? I asked about the possible drug interactions between crack, meth and tylenol...and I get attitude.

More attitude from retail...I asked a lady if they sold binoculars with a range of restraining order plus 10 feet...and...attitude again...