I'm Just Saying...

Because of the high traffic, Starbucks just opened up a store on my balls.

It's cold as a witches tit outside, but tastes less salty.

Hey Mcdonalds Manager, the sign does not say "No PANTS, no service" So give me that Big Mac and stop staring at Mine!

Don't drink and drive, don't text and drive and don't eat and drive...especially if she's a screamer...people notice. Trust me.

They've outgrown the name "Hookers" Lets be more accurately descriptive with the job title..."SEMEN EXTRACTION TECHNICIANS"... Better?

Women don't always think it's funny when you're having anal sex with them and punctuate each thrust saying "You've got junk in your trunk!"

If you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours, call your doctor. Why?...to thank her?... or give your lady a transfusion?...

Another romantic comedy where she doesn't know that true love is right in front of her. Please put people who write these movies in gitmo!