Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm Just Saying...

Every time they do a commercial for Liquid Plumr's “Foaming Pipe Snake” I admit it...I giggle a little bit. Sorry.

My sex life is like "Deal or No Deal". It's not what you think. I just mean that I keep getting interrupted by a germaphobic bald guy.

I'm thinking about becoming born again and cleansing my sins....because I've got some stones that I'm dying to cast at people!

Why does my neighbor keep playing loud music when he sleeps with his wife? All the other guys that sleep with her keep the music down. A-hole!

Is there a way to have a separate government for people who don't vote against their own best interest? If so sign me up please.

If I had an evil twin...he'd be out of work.

A friend saw me with a lady friend and said "Damn man, you're whipped!" It really pissed me off too, I didn't know the dvd's were out yet.

My sister's friend complains that she's tired of people just touching her pregnant belly. That's why I grab her boobs. She appreciates it.

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